Introduction Letter
Hi Prof Brad,
My name is Lucas, a year 1 student in mechanical engineering.
I have a great passion about knowing how machineries work and that is essentially what mechanical engineering is all about. As a kid, I always loved hanging out with my dad in his workshop. He would test and operate those big cool machines while I watched closely at the side. I have always been fascinated with how those machines work. This was also the reason why I joined robotics club in Nanyang Polytechnic while studying engineering with business. I believe that mechanical engineering will bring about a new era in future of technology.
My strength in communication is I am able to present information or instructions in a clear and precise manner. Back in the days of national service, I constantly had to give instructions to my peers. It became a habitual routine for me and many of my superiors commended me for my ability to do so. However, my weakness in communication is my inability to adapt my communication style with different audiences. I am too used to communicating with audiences of my age and I am unable to adapt when communicating to different types of audiences. For example, I can remember clearly how much I fumbled during a speech to the elderly at a voluntary workshop.
I definitely would love to improve my public speaking skill from this module. Public speaking or pitching is vital in the fields of the engineering industry. I certainly do not want to fumble during a presentation in front of my director. Another goal I have is to enhance my writing skill. I want to be able to write with ease be it when drafting emails or formal letters.
What is unique about me will be I love problem solving. I am excited to solve complex problems in our daily life and using my capability to make things convenient and simple.
Best Regards,
Lucas
Edited 25 sept 22
Hi Lucas! Here are some comments regarding language use:
ReplyDelete- "I constantly need to ..." I think it can be better written as "I constantly had to ..."
- "communicating to a different type of audiences" can be written as "communicating to different types of audience."
Alright, thanks!
DeleteHi Lucas, here are some comments: At the last paragraph "What unique about me will be I love problem solving" I think it should be written as "what is unique about me". Generally the flow of the letter is coherent and it satisfies the guideline in the instructional unit pdf
ReplyDeleteAlright, thanks!
DeleteHi Lucas. Pleasure reading your letter, here are some of my comments.
Delete1. In the first paragraph, maybe you can give an example of what those big machines were or what industry it was related to.
2. In your example where you shared about fumbling when communicating with an elderly person, the sentence seems a little incomplete.
All in all, your letter is well written with a good flow.
Alright, thanks Shameer!
DeleteDear Lucas,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this clear, concise and well substantiated letter. The content is aligned with the assignment brief, you employ appropriate organization and the language use is quite good.
You've done well providing supporting information for each specific content area, which allows us readers to gain a basic understanding of who you are. For example, from the discussion of your visits to your dad's workshop, your interest in problem solving and the NS experience you allude to, it's easy to see that you have some leadership potential, and so I challenge you to build on all of that and further develop in our module. (I was happy to note you'll be your research team's lead.)
In terms of challenges, it's clear you intend to work on your speaking and writing skills. As writing is one of your goals, please allow me to point out a few minor language issues:
1. phrasing
-- how machineries works > how machines work
-- to my fellow peers > to my peers
2. verb issues
-- I am always fascinated with how those machines work. > (Tense: Is this story past or present?)
I look forward to working with you further this term.
Cheers,
Brad
Hi prof, thank you for taking time to read my letter. I appreciate it! I will continue to improve on my letter with your suggestions. See you in class!
Delete